I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I love having hate sex.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
