yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
