I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
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so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
In other news, I just burned my penis
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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