like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
