sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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