not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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