saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
