nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
