A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You did what with his pubic hair?
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