That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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