did you get engaged???
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
