just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
