I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
