you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
