if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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