So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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