you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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