WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
