And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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