Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I AM VODKA MAN
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
