Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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