I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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