i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
