whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
