Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
