I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
