On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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