Rock
Scissors
Fuck
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
