I hate your face
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
