Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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