how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
