College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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