She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
