Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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