my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
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laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
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If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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