Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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