READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
