New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
