Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
