and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
