So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
