You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
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We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
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He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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