Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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