Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
