It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
