whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize