I feel like abortions should bother me more
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
