I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she peed on how many people?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
