ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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