Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
