all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
