i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think my fart just growled at me.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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