Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
They should really pass out barf bags in church
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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