FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
