thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
