so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
