Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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