Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
