bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
