I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I want her autograph on my taint
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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