I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My dick has a subreddit
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
