I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
