The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
well you can't waste a boner
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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