It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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