The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.