I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
