I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I think weed is turning my hair brown
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Randomize
