Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
