if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
