Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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