Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
