I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize